Washington, D.C. – In a rare moment of fiscal scrutiny, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has identified and halted an unexpected $2.6 million annual payment to former President Barack Obama. The payments, which allegedly stemmed from royalties on the widespread use of the term “Obamacare,” had been quietly disbursed for years. Investigators uncovered the payments through a hidden clause deep within the Affordable Care Act’s fine print. According to the obscure provision, Obama was entitled to a small percentage each time the program was referred to by its popular nickname. “At first, we thought it was some kind of prank,” said DOGE Director Rufus Clapp. “But then we found the deposits—marked ‘Thanks for the branding, champ.’” When asked about the payments, Obama appeared indifferent. “I never asked for this,” he said. “The Republicans coined ‘Obamacare’ as an insult, and next thing I know, I’m getting residual checks. Who am I to say no to free money?” News of the payments has sparked outrage among fiscal conservatives. “This is exactly the kind of reckless spending that’s crippling America,” complained one senator—while conveniently overlooking the $8 billion in subsidies funneled annually to a defense contractor that produces paper clips. Obama’s legal team maintains that the payments were legitimate, citing a bipartisan agreement that allegedly offered Mitt Romney a $500,000-a-year deal had the program been dubbed “Romneycare” instead. Despite pushback from lobbyists within the Presidential Branding & Merchandising industry, DOGE has confirmed that the payments have been terminated. However, sources inside the White House claim Obama is already in talks to negotiate a new deal—this time seeking royalties whenever someone remarks, “This is just like Obama’s third term.”
Posted inUncategorized

Washington, D.C. – In a rare moment of fiscal scrutiny, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has identified and halted an unexpected $2.6 million annual payment to former President Barack Obama. The payments, which allegedly stemmed from royalties on the widespread use of the term “Obamacare,” had been quietly disbursed for years. Investigators uncovered the payments through a hidden clause deep within the Affordable Care Act’s fine print. According to the obscure provision, Obama was entitled to a small percentage each time the program was referred to by its popular nickname. “At first, we thought it was some kind of prank,” said DOGE Director Rufus Clapp. “But then we found the deposits—marked ‘Thanks for the branding, champ.’” When asked about the payments, Obama appeared indifferent. “I never asked for this,” he said. “The Republicans coined ‘Obamacare’ as an insult, and next thing I know, I’m getting residual checks. Who am I to say no to free money?” News of the payments has sparked outrage among fiscal conservatives. “This is exactly the kind of reckless spending that’s crippling America,” complained one senator—while conveniently overlooking the $8 billion in subsidies funneled annually to a defense contractor that produces paper clips. Obama’s legal team maintains that the payments were legitimate, citing a bipartisan agreement that allegedly offered Mitt Romney a $500,000-a-year deal had the program been dubbed “Romneycare” instead. Despite pushback from lobbyists within the Presidential Branding & Merchandising industry, DOGE has confirmed that the payments have been terminated. However, sources inside the White House claim Obama is already in talks to negotiate a new deal—this time seeking royalties whenever someone remarks, “This is just like Obama’s third term.”

Washington, D.C. – In a rare moment of fiscal scrutiny, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has identified and halted an unexpected $2.6 million annual payment to former President Barack…